Viral Photo: Paper Plate
Birth has gone viral! In the past year, videos and photos about the realities of birth and life postpartum have dominated social media and headlines. Earlier this year, we shared with you the viral video on contractions! Today, we’re passing along another viral moment – this time it’s a photograph of a paper plate used to illustrate the physical “wound” inside a woman’s uterus following the delivery of the placenta.
By now you may have already seen it, but if you haven’t here’s the low down. Back in March, a mom and birth advocate, Laura Fry, posted a photo of a paper plate with a measuring tape across it on her Facebook page Labor of Love. The measuring tape in the picture shows that the plate is approximately 8.5 inches across, which happens to be also be the average diameter of a placenta. Fry’s caption explains the significance in full:
As with most things related to pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood, there are many different opinions out there regarding what is best for women, and the fact that all it took was one photograph of a paper plate to garner so much attention is a great thing.
Various outlets have used this photograph to advocate for longer maternity leave. On a more simple scale, however, it really just serves as a reminder to take it easy, while opening up the debate about what “take it easy” really means.
Following the initial post, it appears that Fry had to add multiple edits and addendums to clarify her comments, but the intent and overall purpose of the post shouldn’t get lost in the muddle: moms need time to recover after childbirth.
It seems so commonplace to say. Of course, women need to recover. Of course, there are physical changes to the body after childbirth.
But maybe Fry was tapping into something that we also know: moms can so easily fall into the habit of focusing on everyone else before themselves. Being a new mom is no different. Plus, if you factor in all the outside pressures and the perfection social media users often portray, it can be very difficult to hold back, take it easy, and lie low, when you want to show the world how great you feel.
There is no right or wrong here. All women are different. All bodies heal differently. This is true. But what is also true is that regardless of how you think you feel in the moment, your body is still healing. Sometimes, you just don’t realize it until you’ve maxed out and by then, you might be looking at a more arduous recovery from complications versus the natural progression of things.
If it feels good to go to the store a week after childbirth, by all means, do it. If going on a walk will help you feel more like yourself, no one is stopping you.
But also keep in mind that women don’t always have someone reminding them to take it easy either. Women don’t always have someone telling them its okay to stay in bed or stay at home for the first few weeks without judgment. When baby arrives, women may no longer be the focus of the attention, care and concern of others.
For these women, and for any woman, it is important to keep this in mind too. Advocate for yourself. Really consider what it is that is driving you to do more in those early weeks. Is it for you? Then by all means go at your own pace. If it is for others or outside pressure, give yourself some grace. Remember what you’ve put your body and mind through. Remember the paper plate.
We hear so often about savoring the precious time you have in the early days with your baby, but the message should also be: protect yourself, armor up, heal, strengthen, and sustain.
We’ve all heard about how important it is for couples to focus on the marriage instead of the wedding. The same should go for motherhood. We focus so much on the birth that we forget that after birth, and even after the early postpartum period, comes motherhood, which is a lifelong commitment and lifestyle change.
The early months and years of parenting are a rollercoaster that involve reduced sleep, a surge in increased responsibility, added worry and anxiety, and a steep learning curve. The reason we and women like Laura Fry encourage and advocate for rest and healing is not to add limitations or judgment on women after childbirth. Quite the opposite, its to ensure that women are able to continue living the lives they lived before and for years to come as they transition into motherhood. While you’re in the throws of those early days and weeks, it can be difficult to allow that time for grace and rest, but remind yourself that it’s a marathon, not a sprint. Remember the paper plate.
