Self Care Guide for Real Moms
Nurture Your Way to Self Care with this Babies in Bloom Exclusive Guide
Self care is all the rage these days! There are so many resources out there to choose from for ideas about how to incorporate more into your own life. We know you don’t have to look very far to find a guide for self care, but it doesn’t hurt to remind you, our Babies in Bloom community, to put the oxygen mask on yourselves for a change. We benefit from these reminders, and also need some practical life hacks from time to time.
Looking for a mom-centered, realistic, guide to self-care, Moms? We’ve got you covered, and we don’t shy away from the heavy-hitters and the simple fixes to create a life that doesn’t sacrifice your well-being in the name of love.
1. Find Your Happy Place
Whether you’re in a postpartum haze or chasing after 2 under 2, chances are your home no longer your vision of serenity and comfort. That’s not to say there isn’t a special room or nook that helps bring you back to your centered, state of calm — but it’s just as likely that your “happy place” is far from home. The beach, a walking trail, or even a book store, could be the getaway destination you catch yourself dreaming about running off to while bouncing your child to sleep on an exercise ball.
Whatever the place may be, no matter how small or close to home, find what works for you and make time to visit it. Once a week, a month, the frequency isn’t as important as making it a regular practice in your schedule.
When you get there, take time to nurture yourself. Unplug from your phone, do some writing, read, or whatever will help you take in and savor this special time in your happy place.
2. Log Some Quality ZZZ’s
The last thing you need to hear is someone else tell you, “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” We know that its harder to do when you are still trying to eat, maybe pump, get in some alone time to feel semi-normal, and everything else that gets in the way of your precious, limited, sleep window.
Sleep is the highest form of currency for parents, it seems. This is because babies aren’t always the most consistent little beings, and they suck up a lot of our time, energy, and focus even when they are resting peacefully. To combat this deficiency, we’re challenging you to schedule your own rest.
That’s right, we’re talking about making an appointment for sleep — even if it means signing over parenting duties to your partner or a trusted caretaker, and checking into a hotel for one night (do you!).
Chances are, if you’re a parent, you’re sleep deprived. Find ways to recoup some of those lost hours the way that works for you. Buy ear plugs and curl up in the guest room while Dad and kids have some bonding time, sleep an hour earlier a few days a week, or plan a local staycation. A little extra effort can go a long way!
3. Move Your Body
Are you sleep deprived and feeling low energy? Not surprised, Mom. Are you audibly groaning at the idea of doing anything that requires extra effort? You’re not alone, but moving your body could, ironically, be the solution to your problems.
Hear us out. The simple act of walking reduces stress, and over time improves mood and enhances self-esteem. Walks as little as 10 minutes in length can improve anxiety and depression levels, and a recent study showed that regular 20-minute walks combated fatigue in cancer patients.
Want to boost the benefits of incorporating walks into your routine? Including a loved one, furry friend or human, has some added benefits. Research suggests that walking with a buddy lowers blood pressure levels and decreases cortisol.
4. Own Your Guilty Pleasure
Not all self care is about mindfulness, meditation, and essential oils. Sometimes, something as simple as scheduling an hour a week to catch up on your favorite TV show, can really help you fill your cup. The point is to do something that really makes YOU feel good without worrying about what others think.
Don’t mistake the word ‘guilty’ for ‘guilt’ — this pleasure activity is meant to be judgment-free and oh so fun! The point is to feel good about what you’re doing. Channel your teenage self, or indulge in some mindlessness for a short period each week. After being “on” so often with your children, work, family, and other obligations, it’s nice to not take things so seriously from time to time.
5. Strive for a Nutritious Diet
It’s very possible that your guilty pleasure might involve your favorite blended coffee drink or an extra large serving of french fries (judgment-free zone, remember?). Part of self care is really learning how to live in the good zone, where you fulfill your wants and needs in the same way you care for your loved ones. The good zone is not the perfect zone by any means, but it does mean being intentional with how you choose to take care of yourself — and this involves taking a good, hard look at the food you’re eating.
We’ve already touched on sleep deprivation, low energy, and burn-out — all common side effects of parenting. But, these can also be indicators of poor nutrition habits. Making even small adjustments to our current diet can make a big difference. Integrating small, healthy changes a little bit at a time, will likely stick with your routine a lot better than cutting out all the bad things overnight.
We recommend trying to drink more water, add one more home-cooked meal to your weekly schedule, cutting out added sugar, or trying to only eat out once a week. See how that goes for a few weeks, and then try incorporating one more healthy habit, and so on. If you have an off-week, don’t scrap all your progress, just pick up where you left off.
6. Practice Gratitude
There’s a lot of buzz lately around the idea of practicing gratitude. We are hearing all about how the most fulfilled, joyful people are big on gratitude practice, but what really does this involve on a daily basis and how does this really help with self care?
Notice how we don’t really use the word ‘gratitude’ without including the word ‘practice’? This is intentional. We all can claim and believe that we feel gratitude for our life’s blessings, but without really making an effort to reflect on them, we aren’t really practicing a life of gratitude.
According to Brené Brown, practicing gratitude can mean having a gratitude journal you write in each day, praying, incorporating a gratitude meditation into your mornings, or simply saying, “I am grateful for…” out loud.
There are so many benefits to incorporating gratitude practice into your life. Better sleep, enhanced empathy, reduced aggression, better self esteem, and increased mental strength are just some scientifically-proven benefits!
7. Embrace Vulnerability and Setting Boundaries
To continue the Brené Brown Fan Club Tour that started in our #6 Self Care Tip, we wanted to end this guide on an important point about self care and the need for self care, especially for moms. Mom burn-out is real, and today’s moms are feeling the strain of the maternal mental overload like never before.
Self care practices like bubble baths and girls’ night out may help feed some important fun time back in your life, but a much more effective, long-lasting way to nurture yourself is being vulnerable with those you love. It’s about being able to ask for what you really need help with. Being able to admit that you don’t like doing something, even if you think it’s something you should do as a mom. And letting go of that notion that you need to have it all together to be enough.
Embracing vulnerability means saying no to things you know you can’t do even if it means upsetting someone else. It means embracing discomfort in exchange for self-acceptance. Make a very short list of the priorities in your life, and more often than not, that means you’re going to have to let some people down. Committing to less means freeing up more time for the things that really bring you joy. It means being more present for the people and things that matter to you. And it means living a life that feels authentic to you.
There’s bound to be some push back from people, even those with best intentions, when they notice you drawing a line in the sand about things you had no problem doing before. It takes time, but those who love and respect you will understand and respect you more in the long run.
